stormy--'s Diaryland Diary


The Day I went on a Virtual Date.

Yes, you read that right. Me - awkward, weird, quirky me - had a virtual date last night. I can feel the waves of shock vibrating around the world.

A friend of mine had been after me to go out with this guy that she knows. Well, she doesn't know him know him. He manages the credit union that she's a member of. Every time she went in there she'd chat with him - or, as she would say, "shoot the shit" - and he was always so friendly and nice. And, of course, since she's all loved up she wants me to be loved up too.

Not a fan of being fixed up, I've been telling her 'no' for months. But in February she wore me down and I agreed to talk to the guy on the phone. This was not as easy as you would think. For some reason this guy was always busy no matter what time of day it was. It's been three and a half months since I agreed to being fixed up and I talked to him only three times. Looking back that should have been red flag #1.

Red flag #2 was the fact that each of the three times we talked it was as he drove home after work for about five to ten minutes and he would always be extremely preoccupied as we talked. But I just thought since he was driving he was a little distracted and it wasn't a big deal. The bigger deal probably should have been the fact that he never wanted to talk about himself (red flag #3). I would ask about his hobbies or what he does on the weekends and he always said he was so busy with work so he didn't have hobbies. So, instead, I would ask about work and he would always say, "I don't want to bore you." Our conversations weren't exactly stellar but getting to know someone is always a little awkward at first so I thought I'd just keep giving it a shot.

He was the one who said that he wanted a virtual dinner date. Those were his exact words and not mine (remember that because it comes up later on). It just took us forever to agree on a day since he was always so busy. Finally this past Tuesday he texted me (something he has never ever done because he claimed to hate texting and never does it) and said he had an hour free on Friday night and if I still wanted we could have our dinner date.

I have to admit I wasn't exactly excited going into it. Instead of feeling like this date was something I got to do, it felt like something I had to do. You know what I mean? Actually I probably would have looked forward to a dentist appointment with more enthusiasm.

But still, I prepared as if I was going out on a face to face date. I put a lot of thought into what I was going to wear. After an extensive conversation about clothes while Facetiming my sister, I chose a jean skirt and a violet halter top that ruffled down the front. I thought it was cute and since it was hot outside it totally was something I would have worn out on a face to face date. I took my time doing my makeup (something I love doing but haven't done in a while since I always wear a face mask when I'm out and about) and I even curled my hair. My hair has gotten so long - almost to my waist - during this quarantine since I can't get it cut yet. But still I curled my hair into soft, wavy curls. I even wore my diamond stud earrings and spritzed a little perfume in the air so I could walk through it.

Then, since it was a "dinner date", I made myself dinner: a grilled chicken breast and some steamed broccoli (I've been trying to eat better this whole week since I've been munching way too much lately). I was drinking water but to be fancy I poured it into a wine glass. Then I made sure my kitchen looked presentable and set up my computer on my table.

He was more than half an hour late for our dinner date. (I'm going to go ahead and call that red flag #4...? It's hard to keep track. Let's just call it #4.) I mean it's really not a red flag per se even though it's a totally douchey thing to do.

The first thing I noticed is that he didn't have any food. It's kind of weird since he was the one who called it a "dinner date" not to have food. It's like, dude, at least grab some crackers or something. Then immediately after that I realized that his shirt (it looked like a dress shirt) was unbuttoned and showing me a little of his chest. He also seemed to be sitting on his bed since I could see a headboard and pillows behind him. None of those things I was expecting to see on our "dinner date". (Let's call these red flags #5 & #6.)

Our conversation didn't get much better than those we had on the phone. It was like pulling teeth to get him to say anything much more than one or two words in response. And with the slight flashing light of his computer I could see bouncing off his white, unbuttoned shirt it seemed as if he was multitasking while having this dinner date with me. This was so annoying. And, I'm only one person. It takes two people to have a conversation!

By this time I just felt like 'let's just get this over with.' So, instead of forcing conversation on this guy, I focused on my now kind of cold food, which was still quite delicious by the way. I was taking my second bite of my chicken when he said, "Wow. You sure have an appetite." Umm... okay. I was hungry and this was supposed to be a "dinner date" so I didn't understand the comment. But instead of saying something snarky I just showed him my plate and said I thought we were both going to be eating. To that he responded with, "Why did you think that? I'm eating later."

I mean.... What??? I cannot reiterate enough that HE WAS THE ONE THAT CALLED IT A DINNER DATE!

I was more than annoyed at this point but I just pushed that down because in my mind I was only going to be online for not even ten more minutes and then I was gone. To move the conversation along, I asked him what he was going to eat later. (I was grasping at straws here!!) He just shrugged and said, "Oh, I don't know yet." This guy gave me absolutely nothing to work with.

Then he said, "You look like one of them high maintenance type of girls." I told him I didn't understand what he meant by that and he sighed and said, "You know, those girls who have more air in their heads than brains who are so concerned about their makeup and fake nails."

Okay. Let's forget for a moment that he insulted me in the first sentence he uttered to me that was more than a just few words in length. I do not do fake nails. Never have and never will. If that's your thing ... I couldn't care less. Do you. To me they're tacky and I don't know how anyone gets anything done with long claws attached to their fingers. I don't know why but right now I feel very strongly that everyone knows this about me.

And, what the heck??!!! Who says something like that (the whole maintenance thing - not just the fake nail thing) on a supposed first dinner date?! He pretty much called me stupid. In what world does that seem like a good idea on any type of date???

I didn't know what to say because who says those types of things? So, I just shook my head and drank some water and tried to think of ways to get the heck off of there. I don't know why I was so concerned about not being rude when he was being rude to me. I guess my mama just raised me right.

And then he said, "That's not always a bad thing. A girl like you has their uses." I remember shaking my head when I asked, "A girl like me?" I was quickly approaching that line where I just don't give a crap anymore and I will say exactly what I think and feel. My sister calls that line the point at which I start talking like a sailor. This guy just shrugged and said, "You know." Then he said, "Why don't you push the food away and take off your top for me."

I was shocked and disgusted and yet still I found it in me to yell, "What the hell?" at my computer screen. But that didn't faze him at all. He said, "Don't be a c***. If I wanted a frigid bitch I'd f*ck my wife."

I thought my head was going to explode. Heck, my head wanted to explode just at his use of the "c" word. This guy was married! He told my friend and myself that he wasn't (because I made sure to ask the very first time we talked). Not only was he married but everything he said to me was an insult and yet he thought I was going to take my shirt off for him. This man was delusional!

I called him an asshole, a prick, and a couple of other colorful things and told him to never contact me again. Then I disconnected and ended what was my very first (and probably my last) virtual dinner date.

I'm still kind of shocked about the whole thing. Last night after I called and told my sister all about it I called my friend who set us up. She was livid. As mad as I was (at him - not her) I actually had to calm her down and make her promise not to go to the credit union, make a scene and confront him. And it's totally something she would do. So I probably should call her tomorrow to make sure she remembers her promise.

But, is this what dating is like nowadays? Because, honestly, if it is I don't think I'm up for it.


11:05 p.m. - 2020-06-06


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